What do I want?

What is it that God wants for me that I do not want for myself? -Meister Eckhart

For as long as I can remember, an obsessing question has been “What do I want to do with my life?” I've spent countless hours envisioning and planning my future. I've dreamed and formulated plans. I've dreamed again and re-formulated the plans. I've tried to look into the crystal ball to see what I was to do and who I was to be. I envisioned myself, at some point in time, satisfied and content for having successfully accomplished my goals and having reached my glorious destination.

As Christians, however, we are called to make a radical paradigm shift. Our EGO, the great Trinity of Me, Myself, and I is to be replaced by GOD, the true Trinity: Father, Son and Holy Spirit, our Creator, Redeemer and Sustainer. As Christians we are called to get our egoistic selves out of the way and to change from an Ego-centric to Christo-centric way of being. The obsessing question then changes from “What do I want?” to “What does God want?”

Even more challenging is the question “What does God want for me that I don’t want for myself?” With this new world view, we ask ourselves very different questions. What does God want me to change that I don’t want to change. What does God want me to be that I don’t want to be? What does God want me to do that I don't want to do?

We fear these questions because we often think that we know what’s best for our lives. If God wants what I want that's great, but what happens when I don't want what God wants? We resist the truth that God's plan for our lives is better than our plan. In fact, it's far better than what we could ever imagine. God only desires what's best for us. God will only lead us in ways that will draw us closer to the fullness of who God created us to be. God's plan is good and perfect for those who will open themselves to the working of God in their lives, and open themselves to the possibilities and opportunities that God presents.

I've spent far too much time and energy trying to answer the wrong question. Instead of "What I want for my life?" the better question is, "What does God want for my life." For the plans and dreams of God for me and my life are beyond anything I could ever imagine...even if it's something I thought I never wanted.

Holy and Loving God replace my trinity with your Holy Trinity, and my desires with your desires, and my longings with your longings, but when they are not give me the wisdom and courage to follow your ways not mine. Amen.